Time to stop

Time to stop

by nicolamcgowan

I know in my head that I can’t keep trying forever. Physically its impossible, and emotionally -well I don’t know how much longer I can go. 

Should I give myself an end date? Should I keep going until I physically can’t? Should I stop when I’m emotionally worn out, or by that point will there be too much damage already done?  

I’m at the start of a new cycle. Menstrual wise of course. Life wise it’s the same. I’m already exhausted and its barely even started.  

28 thoughts on “Time to stop”

  1. I’ve given up this month. I’m an emotional wreck. We have and twice since I started the cycle. I can’t take the feeling of hope then it crashing when af comes. I hope you better soon. I know how hard it is 😦 xxxxxxxxx

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    1. Its awful isnt it. Esp when you have a feeling youre pregnant.. you try and try not to get hopes up, but we’re all human n its bound to happen. I’m sure my hormones are making it harder lol!

      Are you far in to your cycle?

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      3. I’ve been trying for a year now. Early Miscarriage back in April so doctors won’t do anything until year after that. So many people I know caught and had babies since I started trying. It’s heartbreaking at the same time as happy for them.
        How long have you been trying for? Xx

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      4. 2 years and 3 miscarriages. Also had a loss bout 9,10 years ago.
        Sometimes it’s more frustrating when you’ve been pregnant because doctors seem to be less likely to help!

        Have you tried other things like vitamins etc? Someone recommended raspberry leaf

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      6. I’ve tried all basics vitamins etc. Stopped atm as so fed up with it all. Doctors said I am more than likely ovulating by my 21 day bloods…. But been diagnosed with pcos (no cysts as to though) so god knows what’s going on. Doctors aren’t interested.
        I bet the miscarriages and loss was so heartbreaking. I know mine was, and it was barely a blip 😦 I would have been due in next couple weeks. I just want to see another positive… Just so j know my body is working. Just for a little hope :/ x

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      7. I go through phases of being vitamin crazy and then the next month I can’t be bothered with the stress of it!
        The only thing that’s helped has been ovulation testing!

        My first (technically 2nd) I was 12 weeks and on honeymoon so that was horrendous!! My last one was just last month so that’s still kinda fresh but I was only 6,7weeks

        I’m finally going to get progesterone next time I’m pregnant after a year of asking but of course I still need to wait for the positive

        you will get a positive.. just like I’m sure i will ..but its just so bloody hard waiting. We want it now!
        The due date is so hard.. i really feel for you. I lit a wee candle for my baby on my due date. It was quite nice doing that 🙂

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      8. I may do that! I was only 7 weeks but as you know it’s two weeks so bliss and excitement 😦
        I’m hoping there is nothing wrong with me or my husband. It just seems odd to catch then not for so long x

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      9. It took me about 9,10 months after one of my losses so plea don’t think theres anything wrong! Ive had all the medical tests and I’m fit as a fiddle.. just horrendously unlucky.

        I hope you’re next one is the lucky one but I’m sure you WILL fall soon! Do ur best to stay positive 🙂

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      10. Thanks! Sorry for late reply I’ve just seen this! Just want it to hurry up now . Seems so long ago that it all happened. Hoping to fall and then be able to get back on contraception to control my pcos. Since coming off all my symptoms have got really adx

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  3. I think you know when you want to stop. I seriously thought after cycle 1 that I couldn’t do it again, but a year later I did. You can only go with your own feelings and what you can tolerate at that time. There are no rules. X

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    1. Thank you. I know I’m not ready to sto just yet.. I’m just not sure how much lis left!
      Seeing people like u, and others on this blog who have had or close to having a baby helps me stay positive though!!

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      1. I really felt terrible after just one go. And even the second go (this cycle) I felt pretty down about it. I think it’s worse somehow because you know what it’ll be like and you know how it can end, but… I kept thinking of one of my blog friends for whom it worked on the second go (Courtney). I kept thinking it does work for a lot of people on the second go. So hopefully it will work for you! X

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  4. It’s not like you can’t change your mind. If you’ve had all you can take, stop. If after a few months or a year you decide to give it one more try, go for it.
    You can’t make a wrong decision here, if you stop, you get to really focus on you and healing you. If you keep going, you might get pregnant after your progesterone treatments. Either option seems good to me ☺️

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  5. I was told at 22 that I couldn’t have kids. At 28 I found a doctor that decided he would find a way that I could. At 32 I had my little boy, naturally conceived. Almost ten years on I am pregnant for the 7th time and am quietly hoping this time I will give my son a sibling. All in all I have been trying for almost 14 years with only one successful pregnancy to show for it (and another ongoing hopefully). My best advice, having been through everything from fertility treatment to miscarriages, is to not give up but focus on other things as well as trying. Do that course you wanted to do, book that holiday etc – by not putting things on hold life continues and it then isn’t all about what’s not happening. I also found I fell pregnant when most distracted from the cause!

    Keep going x

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      1. I’m in tears here! PLEASE, PLEASE don’t give up. I had given up believing but still was off of contraception and that’s where this pregnancy came from! I was completely over it, thought it would never happen and this is the furthest I have got in 10 years. I have no clue why we have to go through this but your end result will be worth it and you are so right – one in 14 years is more than enough for it be worthwhile. You will get there! I also read your messages to others – I hadn’t taken a single vitamin etc in months and had to scramble to get some on the positive so maybe it is best not to be prepared! Good lucky honey, I’m really rooting for you xxx

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      2. The only one I’m strict with is folic acid tbh.. It ends up too hard trying to keep up with it all! I’m feeling so much more positive after ur comment and even my husband agrees! I’m definitely not ready to give up yet!!!

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  6. I’m so happy to read this Nicola! Just think, if I’d have believed the first doctor I wouldn’t even have tried and my 9 year old wouldn’t be here! I’m not going to patronise you by patting you on the head and saying ‘it will happen’ like those that have no clue do, that drives me nuts! However you gotta be in it to win it and you’ve been pregnant, that’s upped your chances of success massively! Try and get your GP to refer you to Dr Shehata at Epsom Hospital or if that’s too far, someone who follows his procedures near you. At the very least try and get your hands on progesterone and definitely take 75mg of aspririn and 2,000 mg of vitamin d every day as well as pregnacare plus (the one with omega). Mmmwaaahhh xxx

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    1. I absolutely will! Thats exactly what i thought…. I may not have a baby, but i DEFINITELY won’t if i give up now. I’m willing to keep trying.. thank you again so so much for your comments! They’ve been a massive help!
      I’m following your blog now so I can keep up with your pregnancy 🙂

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  8. We are going through this currently. It’s hard because it’s not like you stop wanting to have kids, I don’t think that ever goes away, but I just dont want this yucky blah exhausting drudgery. It’s not how it’s supposed to be and it’s horrible to have to end up making a decision based on “what degree of potential unhappiness do I want in my life, keep exhausting my self through trying or living life seeing other people with kids after deciding we would be happier without them?”
    I hope you can figure it out soon without too much stress 😊❤

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