I.V.F – Appointment no.2

I.V.F – Appointment no.2

I had my 2nd appointment at the I.V.F clinic today. I had no idea what to expect – I kind of figured it wouldn’t be baby making time just yet, but what else was there to do?

So, I waited for like an hour in the waiting room. It was SO busy. I’m not complaining about waiting (well I’m not complaining …now... I was probably internally complaining a little at the time), but I’m just so shocked at how many men and women are going through this. And that was just today! How many were there yesterday? And how many will be there tomorrow? And the next day?

It’s kind of comforting knowing I’m not doing this alone. There’s so many of us. Of course it’s tragic, and I wish this whole miscarriage/infertility thing was just a myth – but it is kind of nice knowing you’re not in the boat alone. There are people that know exactly how you feel.

I read one of the notices they had up in the waiting room. Turns out this clinic (at the Glasgow Royal Infirmary) has the highest success rate in the whole of Scotland. Something like 168 live births from 309 embryo transfers (I think that’s the terms, I’m still not 100% sure of all of this). Those numbers may not be entirely accurate either, but it’s around that mark.

Ok, so back to the appointment. I had an ultrasound to make sure I was cyst free and that my uterus looked good. “You have a lovely uterus”.. “Why thank you, it’s all mine”. It’s kind of strange getting compliments on your uterus, but hey – I’m a woman – a compliments a compliment.

She showed me where I’d ovulated from this month and I could see 5 or 6 little black circles that she told me were my eggs. I was totally amazed by this. She thinks I’m a great candidate – good egg reserve, and of course age is on my side (I’m 31).

So now we wait. Wait for Nikkis sperm results. Wait to get to the top of the list. Wait to start our treatment.

Hopefully around March or April. Jeez. That’s like.. next month.. this is all getting very very real.

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Assisted Conception

Assisted Conception


Well folks.. I’ve hit the year mark. One year since I was last pregnant. I literally ran to my doctors to tell him TO GET ME ON SOME SORT OF LIST!! (That was actually my words by the way. “Some sort of list”)

Anyway, he was wonderful (I’ve moved house so I have a new GP and I honestly believe he actually likes his job because he is unbelievably nice and helpful)

I now have appointments for my blood to be taken, my hubby has his appointment, i have to go see the nurses at the assisted conception unit.. It’s all go from here..

They test to see if I’m ovulating (I tried to tell him i know I am, but they need proof) and then hopefully they’ll do artificial insemination first before IVF. But again, I’ll have another long wait. My doctor told me to keep banging them out (ok he never used that term, he’s a professional for goodness sake) .. but I’ve to keep trying in the meantime.

I’ve been thinking of giving myself until I’m about 35, 36. Now I know it’s not old, but that’ll be almost 10 years of my life and to be honest.. that’s enough. for me. That’s a long time to have this cloud hanging over you. Every woman has their own idea of when to stop, and I just feel that this would be right for me. I know that I can’t do this forever – physically or emotionally -and I think coming to terms with that is the right thing to do.

But no, wait. That sounds negative. And I’m being positive positive positive today. This WILL happen!

*my husband is really looking forward to the whole sperm in a cup part of the testing* 😂😂

(the one time being a man is harder! – no pun intended)

IVF?

IVF?

So next month will mark a year since I was last pregnant. 

I’ll be 31 in November so while I know I’m not particularly old, I know that time is ticking on

Can anyone offer advice? Would I qualify for IVF even though I’ve been pregnant before.. multiple times, but never had a successful one. I don’t want to keep hoping for a miracle for another 3 years… If I need help, I’d want to get it as soon as I can. 

So yea.. any IVF women, I’d love to hear from you! (I live in Scotland, so I’m guessing things will be different here than U.S etc but I’d still appreciate any advice!)

Twisted Cyst 

Twisted Cyst 

So I’m pretty angry. Fuming actually. I had an ovarian cyst discovered about two and a half years ago, and at the time it was decided that it wasn’t affecting my fertility or causing my miscarriages.

Fast forward about a year and after various other tests they decided that they would remove it as a precaution. I received an appointment over a year ago but had to cancel as I was pregnant. Obviously that ended in a loss so I called back to reschedule and heard nothing.

At my MRI 4 months ago it was measured again. It had grown to 5x5x6cm. I never knew this. I was never told it had grew. I still never got an appointment.

Around a week ago i had awful pain in my stomach – like an intense stabbing pain that would turn into severe cramps and back to stabbing again over and ovet again. The level of pain went from about a 3 out of 10 to about a 7.. it was bearable, but it was never ok.

I somehow managed to pop some painkillers and sleep it off until I woke the next morning in agony. Pain I’ve never felt before..I went to A&E but the pain had subsided by the time I got there, So they took my BP and bloods and sent me home.

Next day – same thing. The pain came back. It was worse. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t get dressed, I couldn’t do anything. I was in tears. No-one was home so I called Nikki at work and he told me to call an ambulance and get back to A&E and he would meet me there.

After pleading with them to do something, the doctors agreed to scan me. It was discovered my cyst had grown to at least 8cm, and had twisted around my fallopian tube causing that to become swollen and of course.. causing me to be bloody agony!

The doctor cooly explained that I would need inmediate surgery and probably need to have my ovary removed. I immediately burst into tears. He tried to reassure me but it was useless. I couldnt think logically or calmy. I was frightened and sore and upset. All i could think was why was this happening?! Why me?

I woke up after my surgery and was told that i didnt need my tube removed and only a small part of my ovary was removed meaning it should work normally.

The surgeon told me the cyst wasn’t helping matters when it came to TTC or my miscarriages.

I feel I was forgotten about. Did this cause long-term damage?

 

 

M.R.I

M.R.I

My mum lost her hearing in one of her ears a few years ago and the doctors never knew what caused it. She was booked in for an M.R.I scan, but ended up not going through with it saying she felt too frightened and claustrophobic. I told her she was being ridiculous, that if its going to help, well she should just bloody do it.

Mere hours after my own M.R.I, I phoned to apologise to her. I now understood exactly what she meant.

The nurses told me to remove all jewellery, piercings and kirbies (bobby pins).Simple right? Not for me. I have a…lets say..intimate piercing that is impossible to remove on my own. I sheepishly explained this and was told that I might need to go home as the piercings can “explode” and rip out whatever part of the body it’s attached to. Then another nurse came, handed me a magnet and told me to hold it against my..well, my coochie… to see if the piercing was magnetised. It wasn’t, so she said I would be safe to go in and there would be no exploding vaginas to worry about!

I put on my gown and answered some basic health and safety questions, then was warned that the IV buscopan that I was about to receive might make my vision blurred, and that on rare occasions, tattoos can heat excessively during an MRI, and if this happens I should push the buzzer and they’ll take me out (I have about 27 tattoos so this wasn’t particularly pleasant news). So now I’m worried about going blind, having exploding genitals and burning from the inside out. Great. What a morning.

I lay on the bed thing, and 2 boards were placed on top of me and fastened to the bed so that my arms were trapped by my side, rendering me unable to move. I was told I’d be lying under the machine for an hour. An HOUR! As I started to be moved in, I immediately knew what my mum meant – it was horrible. I felt trapped and couldn’t see anything around me apart from the white machine.. They gave me earphones, but it was impossible to concentrate on the music over the hums, and beeps and murmurs of the machine.

About 30mins in, I needed to sneeze. Shit. I’m not supposed to move in here right? It came and went twice, until I couldn’t stop it. Twice. Two sneezes! I tried to stifle it, which only resulted in my eyes watering. I could feel a small steady stream of tears rolling down my face. I couldn’t life my arm to wipe it. Uhoh, now my nose was running. Bogies slowly dripped down my face. Oh god, its going in my mouth, its going in my mouth. I turned my head ever so slightly to try send the snotters off course. Result! They bypassed my mouth and continued rolling down my chin and on to my neck. Crap, there goes my eyes again. More tears were coming. My face was a soggy mess and I couldn’t do anything about it.

Finally, the murmurs stopped and I started to move backwards. The nurses appeared and unstrapped the boards. I could finally lift my hands and wipe my wet, snotter soaked face. It was over.

Or was it? Maybe that was that the easy part?