It was confirmed this morning that we miscarried again.
I passed a pretty big bit of tissue yesterday morning so I was already relatively prepared for the worse. I walked in to the room calm, ready and dry eyed.
But the minute she scanned me everything changed. Subconsciously there must have still been some glimmer of hope. But when she told me there was nothing left I broke down.
I’m heartbroken.
But I’ve got though it before and I’ll get through it again.
I am superwoman.
I’ve been going back and forth about whether I should post this or not. I worry if I say it, I will jinx it.
I got a positive last night. And a stronger one again this morning.
I thought I would be happy. But in reality I’m terrified. I’ve had light pink spotting and cramping since last night.
I’ve waited so long for this and for the past 8 days I’ve been hoping to see a positive result but now I’m just so scared. I don’t want this to be over again. I’m not ready to deal with another loss.
I haven’t told hubby about the spotting as he’s at work and he’s insanely busy just now. I don’t want to put my fears on to him yet. So I’m reaching out to my friends here.
Yup, that woman up there ^^^ has two embryos in her. Science has done its part, now it’s up to nature.
Wish me luck.
I think if you ask a non-IVFer what the hardest part of all this process is, they’ll say its the injections, that it must be really difficult to jag yourself every day over and over again. But, in reality that’s probably the easiest part of the whole thing.
I have my second transfer tomorrow and I’m terrified. As the date grows closer, I’ve found myself struggling to sleep. I’m having dreams where I find out the transfer failed again. (I guess they’re more like nightmares then?)
The emotional side of IVF is so much more difficult than any injection could ever be. My hormones are all over the place and I’m an even mixture of excited, apprehensive and just plain scared.
I never imagined I would need another transfer. I always thought I’d get pregnant first time and I’d get my happy ending.
Going in to this 2nd round, I’m more nervous than I’ve ever been.
TrimestersAndTribulations 