Pity

Pity

by nicolamcgowan

I hate being pitied. People that tilt their head and lower their eyes if I ask about their pregnancy. Like they’re afraid to show any kind of excitement incase I throw something at their round glowing faces.

I despise the “hang in there” and “it’ll happen eventually” comments. One colleague even jokingly said she was going to start a GoFund Me Page for my crushing infertility. (At least I hope she was fucking joking)

When I corrected her and told her I wasn’t actually struggling with infertility she was baffled and questioned “so what is wrong with you”? Well luckily for you it’s not my inability to control my temper or reward people’s sheer stupidity with a swift kick to the shin.

Look, I totally appreciate people that sympathise or empathise with me. People that have genuine questions about miscarriages or the affects they can have. If you’re one of them then I have all the time in the world, but please do not bloody pity me. Please don’t think I am any less of a woman for not having a child. Please don’t think that I am so obsessed with getting pregnant that it’s the only thing I want to talk to you about. I’m a woman for fucks sake, compliment my hair or something.

7 thoughts on “Pity”

  1. “Well luckily for you it’s not my inability to control my temper or reward stupidity with a swift kick to the shin.” — That is hilarious!!

    I hate the pity, I also hate the fact that they get to be announcing and I don’t.
    I cried when a buddy of mine actually said “i want to tell you that it’s all going to be okay, but we just don’t know that it will” – which is a really shitty thing to hear, but for me it accepted the pain and desperation and everything else I was feeling as legitimate.

    I’m so sorry for your loss, and this ridiculously crappy process / journey / situation thing!

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      2. It’s been two years this month. I’ve had 3 pregnancies (losses). It’s hard isn’t it? I totally sympathise with you… but you’re still early on in the journey and whoever said that thing to you is wrong! I absolutely have faith that it will happen for you 🙂

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      3. Thanks lovely! Oh I cannot fathom that length of time, and those losses!! My heart goes out to you 😥 I hope that we are both pregnant and overjoyed at our growing bellies in no time at all (wishful perhaps, but it’s still a hope) ❤

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      4. Haha thank-you!!! Wishful thinking over here too 🙂 TBH it doesn’t feel like two years, it’s kind of passed in a blur and for some reason I’m still trying to stay positive! I’m 30 next month so I’m aware I’m still young in fertility terms so I’m trying not to go in to panic mode! Don’t get me wrong, I get bad/hard days but overall I’m doing well! Keep me posted on your journey! My period should be arriving any day so I’ll keep you updated too! Xx

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