New Year

New Year

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It’s a New Year but it’s not quite a new me. Not yet. 

I have my appointment tomorrow with the recurrent miscarriage clinic. I officially suffer from “recurrent miscarriages”. I hate that this is an issue for me. I find it so hard to stay positive sometimes. All my family and friends keep saying “Don’t worry, it will happen eventually. It will happen when the time is right, when you least expect it”. 

I guess that’s supposed to make me feel better, but I just smile and nod while secretly seething on the inside; frustrated at their total lack of understanding. 

Everybody seems to feel the need to come and tell me about their neighbour/sister/daughter/cousin/niece who’s trying for her 7th baby or just announced she’s pregnant after she forgot to take her pill that one day. Sometimes I imagine saying to them that while it’s lovely news, I can’t be overly happily as I’ve sadly lost 3 babies. I imagine their smiling faces dropping. I imagine them not being able to look me in the eye; not knowing how to cope with their guilt. Of course, I only imagine it. The good that’s in me lets them enjoy their moment. They’re entitled to be happy. 

I know I would be.  

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7 thoughts on “New Year

    1. I had some done after my MC at 12 weeks just bcos it was slightly late on but nothing showed up and they didn’t really explain what they were testing for.
      I’m going in more prepared this time. Lots of questions, get lots of info!

      I’ll probably post tmw after so I’ll keep u up to date!

      Like

  1. I’m so sorry!!! I know how much the “when it’s meant to be” answer sucks! Hang in there!! You’re in my thoughts. Hopefully they can figure it out and you’ll be able to carry to term!! Baby dust your way

    Liked by 1 person

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