Checking in…..

Checking in…..

I’m coming to the end of my TWW (that’s two week wait to those who don’t know. And if you didn’t know that, you’re either perfectly sane or you’ve only recently joined the crazy ladies of the TTC group. That’s ‘trying to conceive’ by the way. Jesus, we love our acronyms. 

I’m due either tomorrow or Friday and I’ve been trying not to think about it too much – she says while blogging about it. I don’t feel pregnant, but then I didn’t really feel pregnant any other time either. I’ve been using an app to track my cycle and according to that my PMS should well have kicked in by now, but I’m surprisingly calm and laidback – normally I admittedly can get a little unhinged. So that’s a good sign right? Is it a bad sign? Is it even a sign? Am I clutching? 

All I hear is that I shouldn’t worry because I’ve got pregnant before,  but how does that help? Yeah I’ve been pregnant, but I’ve never carried a baby to term so obviously something isn’t right. It’s been 8 months since my miscarriage. Time keeps moving, and the more it does the less I believe this journey will end the way I want it to. 

I just can’t shake this feeling that somethings wrong and it’s not going to happen for me. 

 

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